Sunday, September 7, 2008

A wedding, a trip to Houston, and a fluke

The Fluke:
I absolutely KNOW that it was a fluke, but I swear to Jimminey Cricket that this is true!
I bought a precious pink potty for Campbell in anticipation of the inevitable potty training... well, I get home from Target, take the royal throne out of the box (it plays a royal tune when you tinkle, by the way) and place it in the bathroom. Nosey Rosey can't wait to see what it is all about. I sit her on the potty, sit myself on the big girl potty for some encouragement... and lo and behold her potty starts to play music!!! Are you kidding me??? Then, it starts to play music again!!! what??? I make a huge production over the affair, stand her up, prepared to dab off approximately two drops of tinkle from her bottom and then I see it. Swear. Poop!!!! First crack out of the box and my little princess pooped in the potty!!! I couldn't have been prouder. Of course as soon as she saw the poop she burst into tears. Kind of scary, I suppose.

My trip to H-town:
Maybe Houston has just gotten a bad wrap. I went to hang out with my Aunt Sandy for week number 5 of her radiation therapy. (If you don't know her story you should pop over to her Caring Bridge- link on the right.) I have to be honest, I did not know what to expect. I tried to be ready for anything. Turns out, what I needed to prepare for most of all was eating at great restaurants. We had a splendid time. We shopped, we ate, we chatted, we even worked out once. All in all it was a success. Back here on the home front, Alan and Campbell fared just fine without me, too. In fact, I don't think she missed me one tiny bit. Alan swears that she didn't throw one single fit the entire time i was away. Well, when we reunited she made up for lost time... which brings me to

A wedding:
Let me start by saying, that it is a good thing that she is so cute. I knew I was in for a long day/night when I took her for a haircut on Saturday morning. You've seen her head of hair. This was not the child's first hair cut. Not even her second or third... Lordy, Lordy, Lordy.
The very nice stylist named Deedee calls our name.
I put Campbell in the chair alone- business as usual... nope. She arched her back and let out a blood curdling shriek. Now, I have the entire salon staring at me. Her Grita promptly grabbed her purse and high-tailed it out the door. Her father who was also waiting for a haircut tried to act like he didn't know us... head in a magazine... not today, mister.
Alan reluctantly claims us and I force her to sit in his lap. Brief moment of silence. Then Deedee must put the cape around her neck. Not so fast, Deedee... Blood curdling shriek #2. I take the cape and wrap it around Campbell's neck all the while glaring at her, and insisting that she stop screaming. At this point, my sister Heather who is also waiting for a haircut begins to look afraid. All eyes are still on us... ugh!
I figure we could try distracting her highness so that Deedee can at least trim the bangs. Big crocodile tears streaming down her cheeks. Dayce and I are trying everything in the book- singing, I spy, books, toys, etc. Then it hits me. A plug would be quite handy about now.
Me: Heather, give me Opal's pacifier!
Heather: (Terrified eyes and under her breath through gritted teeth) Reneeeeee...? I only have the one Opal currently has in her mouth.
Me: (For all the salon to hear) I don't care! Your baby is being quiet and mine is not. Please give me the passy.
Campbell: (More shrieking) Muh muh muh! Translation= Passy, please
Heather: (Unplugging her baby and plugging mine up) Nice.
Bangs trimmed quite nicely.
Big tip for Deedee.

With that in mind, think about the following: an outdoor wedding on the Riverwalk in San Antonio. Now add in Opal, stairs, mosquitos, and only one passy.
I could give you the blow by blow but it might be more fun if you make up your own story. I can assure you that you will not be far off. Like I said, it is a good thing she is cute!


Cute sisters with bad kids!

More stairs

Grita trying to save her!

The only thing missing from this family photo is the 3 glasses of red
wine it took to get Mommy smiling!


Grita said...

I was there for most of that and I did NOT think she was that bad....well maybe the haircut ordeal...She is just trying to express herself..maybe a bit too loud at times...but oh well......she sure is cute. Give her an extra kiss for me.

Colette said...

1st: it really couldn't have been THAT bad if it only took 3 glasses of wine :) 2nd: she pooped!! your next really should be a need to experience true potty training, plus I know you would love the clean up.

Peggy Rice said...

First off you look great in green!! Second, what kind of hairdresser is Deedee if she does not come equipped with suckers?!#$ I know they are messy, but get a coconut one (white, no stains) and only give them to her during haircuts. Promise.
High five on the poops! I'm with your friend on boys. He is so wise that he comes to me and points to the screaming odor coming out of his diaper as to say, "hello, I need a change."