Today was Campbell's first official swimming lesson. I had intended that to be the topic today. But as they say, "the best laid plans..."
Since babies do not come with instruction manuals, I firmly believe that they should at least come with a warning label:
Warning! I may be cute but I am going to embarrass you half to death with a huge fit at some point.
Picture this: Precious pink bikini, hair pulled up in a precious little pig tail with the obligatory precious pink bow, and a precious little toddler toddling around the waiting area at swim school. How precious, right?
One minute she was the model child then I swear her head spun a full 360 degrees on her neck and she turned into some devil child that I have never seen before.
Full blown screaming, no scratch that, screeching fit! Her legs apparently stopped working so she was on all fours with her head on the germ-free floor of the lobby. Which, by the way, was full of approximately 400 other mothers and their perfectly behaved angelic children. Ok, maybe not 400- it was more like 5 or 6. But seriously, they were all glaring at us. At some point, I peeled her off of the floor and tried to muffle the screaming by putting her head into my shoulder. Bad, bad, bad idea! I can't be sure whether it was intentional or not, but I can be sure that it hurt like all get out! Yep, she bit me. Not a full blown chomp but she got a good mouthful, anyway. My, oh my, how I wanted to retaliate in some fashion. But with a lobby full of annoyed other mothers watching my novice mothering skills I opted for: angry eyes and a serious scolding. Both of which, she could usually give a shit about, but today it injured her deeply. Thus we began round #2 of the squalling. Oh, but round two required more theatrics. She decided that the over exaggerated back-arching, mixed in with pushing her body as far away from me as possible, and alternately reaching for random off limits objects made a nice repertoire...
I have turned into that clueless looking mother with the squalling-ass kid... ugh.
Good ol' karma. It'll bite you in the booty every now and then.
Oh well- next week is Alan's turn at the pool.
Time to go shower off all the chlorine and pool pee.
PS- Ask Haylie, it's all true.